When you tell your children that you’re getting a divorce, one of the first questions they’re likely to ask is where they are going to live. Even if they do not understand all of the adult reasons behind the divorce, they do know that it can change their living situation, and they want to make sure they understand what will happen in the future.
Naturally, this can be stressful for them. If you sell your home and rent an apartment, and your ex does the same, the children go from having one house where they feel comfortable and secure to having two homes, neither one of which really feels like home. It can break up their routine and really make them feel like life has fundamentally changed.
If this is concerning to you, it may be time to consider nesting. This tactic allows the children to stay in the same home, which you and your ex continue to own. They never move. You just live in the house with them when you have custody. When your ex has custody, you move out and your ex moves in.
For children, this tactic reduces the amount of change and simplifies life. It does complicate things for parents, of course, but you just need to consider your goals. If your top goal is to give the children a stable living situation, you may be able to do it through nesting.
Even if nesting is not for you, it helps to show you how many options you have. You must carefully consider them all when your marriage ends.
