It is possible to feel a strong desire to commit to someone while still worrying about the possibility of the relationship failing. A prenuptial agreement can be a way to move forward with the marriage while simultaneously limiting the possibility of a messy divorce in the future.
Many people in the planning stages of an engagement may feel anxious about the prospect of suggesting a prenuptial agreement. They worry about offending their fiancé and damaging their relationship. Statistics indicate that more people are now far more receptive to the idea of prenuptial agreements than in decades past, but discussing one can still make people nervous.
How can people broach the topic of a prenuptial agreement without implying a lack of commitment or making their fiancé feel defensive?
Point out the balanced benefits
A prenuptial agreement has to meet certain standards to hold up in family court. As is the case for any contract, a prenuptial agreement generally needs to offer something of value to each party. In other words, the point isn’t for one person to protect themselves at the expense of the other person. The goal is to clarify expectations for the marriage and to establish clear standards for financial matters should a divorce occur.
A prenuptial agreement should extend protections to both spouses, making it mutually beneficial. The prenuptial agreement should provide both spouses with an opportunity to clarify what they expect in the event of divorce and to protect certain resources if they have assets that they do not want to divide.
Treat the process like premarital counseling
As secular marriages have become far more common, accounting for almost half of all weddings, the premarital counseling often provided by priests, ministers and pastors for engaged couples has become less common. Fiancés may not have talked at length about issues such as financial management, attitudes about housework and plans for children.
Having those discussions before getting married can improve a couple’s chances of maintaining a healthy and successful relationship. The process of exploring personal expectations for the marriage and also for a divorce can help people strengthen their relationships.
In some cases, negotiating a prenuptial agreement may actually decrease the possibility of a divorce occurring in the future. If a divorce does happen, the spouses can anticipate a less acrimonious process, allowing them to maintain an amicable dynamic and work cooperatively to raise any children that they might share.
Agreeing to draft a prenuptial agreement can help set couples up for a healthier relationship with shared expectations. Fiancés who desire contractual protection likely need to bring up the topic sooner rather than later to avoid last-minute conflict before a wedding.
