You can’t shake the feeling that your spouse is lying to you about something. Is it an affair? Are they hiding a gambling debt or an addiction? Are they quietly planning their exit from the marriage and just going through the motions in the relationship until they have everything they need?
Your friends or relatives may tell you that it’s just your insecurities and fears playing tricks on your mind, but spouses often have a nagging feeling that knows better when a spouse is being deceptive. If you’re looking for more clues that your spouse is hiding something, consider these:
- They’re hiding (or guarding) the electronics. If your spouse is suddenly carting their phone into the bathroom when they take a shower or has inexplicably changed their password on their laptop, that’s usually a signal that they’re keeping something private.
- They suddenly have a lot of schedule changes. Most people are creatures of habit. If your spouse has changed their routine all around without explanation or has started to go missing for an hour or two at a time, you should be suspicious.
- They’re either too-distant or love-bombing you. Has your spouse suddenly become very attentive? Are they showering you with flowers and gifts? Or, have they suddenly grown distant? Do they seem emotionally out-of-reach and out-of-touch? Either can be a sign that they’re hiding something. Some people cover for their guilt by being overly nice to the person they’re deceiving, while others just shut the other party out entirely.
The best thing to do, in most situations, is to approach the issue directly: Tell your spouse that they’re behavior is raising all kinds of red flags. The odds are very high that you’ll be able to gauge the accuracy of your feelings by their reactions.
If it turns out that your spouse is hiding a secret that makes continuing the marriage impossible, find out what it takes to protect your interests in a divorce.