Being in a relationship with a narcissist is a life-changing experience because they can change your ability to feel secure. In many cases, these individuals employ emotionally abusive methods to try to keep control of their victims. This can lead to trauma and the need to end the relationship. But leaving a narcissist isn’t as easy as just walking away. Instead, you have to plan and ensure that you’re going to be able to walk away safely. Whether you’re married or not, these are some points to remember if you’re leaving the relationship.

The most important component of your plan is that you need to be able to make a clean break. Cutting all ties with the narcissist is important. If you’re married or share children, this won’t be easy. You can have all communication go through your attorney because then your ex won’t know your reactions to their antics.

As you go through divorce or child custody matters with the narcissist, remember that negotiations aren’t likely going to work. A narcissist only wants to win, and they only consider it a win if they get their way. This means that you may end up having to go through a trial. Going into the split with this expectation might help you feel less stress if it happens.

Beware of the roller coaster effect that you’ll encounter with a narcissist. When they feel like you’re pulling away, they’ll likely turn on the charm. Remember that this is only temporary and a way to get you pulled back into their snare. They may even try to give you a sob story about how their life is over without you, but don’t fall for that one either. Instead, realize that you’ve seen the light and move forward with your plans to walk away.