Many couples put a lot of effort into preparing for their wedding. Asking the right questions and couples counseling typically plays a big role in improving communication before a marriage. This perspective sometimes is lost throughout the duration of a marriage.
Divorce seems to ring in one’s head when nothing seems to be going right in a marriage. Before jumping to divorce, it may be useful to take a minute to reflect if you’ve exhausted all other options first. Exploring possibilities your marriage has may ignite passion for your marriage that was buried by miscommunication.
- Would you be happier without your partner?
An immediate thought when considering divorce would be to go into couples counseling. It may be helpful, before signing up for couples counseling, to sit down with yourself and think: would I be happier with my partner or without? If the answer is no, counseling could all be for nothing. If your answer is yes, there is an opportunity to fight for your marriage.
Your ultimate happiness should be your main priority. Although there may be fear lurking around the corner, if your life would improve, you owe it to yourself to do what’s best for you. For some, happiness within your relationship is lost momentarily. For others, happiness could be better found elsewhere.
- Do you and your partner share expectations?
Expectations can mean many things in a marriage. It’s all situational. It could mean the expectations you and your partner had for your lives. It could also mean the roles you play in your marriage. For example, if you play the financial role in the couple and are not happy about it, your expectations of your marriage have changed.
Talking about your expectations with your partner can open doors to compromise, if both parties are willing. If you are stuck in a stand still, it may be more difficult to find a solution and, therefore, be more difficult to move forward in your relationship.
- Have your concerns really been heard?
People are not mind readers. Voicing your concerns in your marriage is the best way to have good communication. However, listening is also a big part in communication. When you and your partner have gotten to a point where you aren’t listening to one another, communication is shut down. The only way to open communication is if you are both willing to listen to each other’s concerns. Again, marriage counselling can help with this but only if both parties are willing to take part.
- What’s your biggest fear if you were to end the relationship?
Some couples stay in a relationship because they wouldn’t know what to do if they got out of it. This could be a variety of reasons. Whether it’s financial stability or codependence, ending a marriage can be frightening. Understanding the difference between wanting to be with someone and being afraid of what will come if the marriage ends can clear your mind and give you the answer you need.
Many people don’t sit and think about what they truly need out of a relationship. Giving yourself the time to think about what it would mean to fix your relationship or end it can give you the clarity you need.